Saturday, December 08, 2007

The Queen of Scandals! [Contest #2 Results]

...And the winner is: MONICA!
-->Your prize is 2 free patterns from my Etsy shop!
Thanks to everyone who participated! I couldn't believe how many people confessed! Now that everyone has come clean, let's review! I tried my best to compile all of your answers, while keeping you anonymous! It looks like "hiding or lying about your stash" was by far the biggest category!

Who Needs to Swatch Anyways?:
--I never check gauge. What's more, sometimes I don't even use the correct weight of yarn for a project.
--I NEVER do a gauge swatch and I should because my gauge is generally a problem. And I have to confess even when I do make one I have no idea how to "read" it so I think that's why I don't make them. I should really do something about that.
--The only time I ever knit a gauge swatch is when I knit a sweater for my sister. I didn't bind it off and wash it like a good girl, I frogged it and used the yarn in the sweater.
--I don't check gauge.
--I never check my gauge...and have paid the price!
--I dislike swatches. I don't read them correctly anyway, so why do them. (I mostly knit socks, hats and dish clothes. I don't like scarfs because they are like a big swatch and are really boring, even the ones with patterns. I'd rather buy one on sale.
--I don't swatch.
--I rarely swatch. Seems like a waste of time.

--Although I usually rip out my work if I mess up, I don't take the time to do it if the knitting is not for me (i.e. a gift for someone). I usually think to myself that this person isn't going to notice because they don't knit AND I'm not going have to deal with the imperfections.
--Sometimes, when I'm knitting socks...or other things, I'll discover a hole in the knitting from loose stitches or picking up sts. When this happens, I'll (sometimes) either knit into the row below to hide it, wrap the loose st a few times around the needle then knit into it, or k2tog then m1. Basically anything that can be done (even if it's not some real knitting technique) just so I don't have to undo my work. If I don't do this it's usually because I spent a lot of money on the yarn...or because I'm being anal.
--I don't like to rip. If I can get away with it, I call it a design feature and go on about my business.
--I have found that I really prefer felting because it easily hides knitting mistakes. Tends to give you some bad habits though.
--I only occasionally fix mistakes.

--I rarely block anything
--I have never blocked one single thing in my life.

Weaving in Those Dang Threads:
--On my first knitting project, I put off the end-weaving for months, because my mother had drilled into me that it's an unpleasant task. Once I'd done it, however, I realized I disagreed. I find the task relaxing, and how can anyone not like finishing their project?
--I hate seams. I've never knitted a seam, but I hate it anyway. If a pattern has a seam and I can't figure out a way to do it without it, I won't do the pattern.
--I don't like to weave in ends. Seriously. I tend to just cut and tuck in the last 2-4 inches of yarn in a place no one will ever see it, like the inside of a hat. This, as you may imagine, does not always work.
--I hate weaving in ends. I don't trust the weaving. I tie knots (GASP!) which usually come undone in the wash.
--I hate weaving in ends. I wear socks where the end ends up wound around my toes and I have to pull them off in the middle of work just to restore circulation. I still don't weave them in.

Picking Up Stitches:
--I hate picking up stitches. Its my least favorite thing to do in any project particularly socks (and I've recently become obsessed with socks). I usually rush through it not taking the time to distribute the stitches evenly. Its a mess. I don't know why i hate it so much but I just do.
--I hate picking up neck stitches. Period.

Fear that Drives Away A Knitting Technique:
--I'm totally scared of knitting sweaters. I just think I'm going to mess them up so bad that there is no point in knitting them This is a fear I must get over.
--I hate to knit raglans. They never ever work out.

Lying, Tricking or Hiding the Evidence When it Comes to Hoarding Stash:
--I still continue to buy yarn, even when I tell myself I'm not going to. Sometimes I do it secretly and hide it from my boyfriend.
--I wouldn't exactly say that I lie about my yarn purchases, but I definitely downplay or 'forget' to mention them sometime ...
--I sometimes sneak new yarn into the house. My partner doesn't know this, but any, ANY spare change I find I put into a little "yarn fund." I use that money to buy yarn when I'm not supposed to (like when we've worked out a budget for the month and I've sworn myself to a yarn diet.) So I stick it in my purse or lunch box and wait till he goes to the bathroom to add it to the stash. This way I can still get on to him when he splurges on video games :)
--I lie about yarn purchases. Money is tight and I *really* shouldn't buy any more, but it's an addiction. I tell DF I got new yarn in a swap or something instead of saying I paid for it.
--The last few packages of yarn that arrived at my house I hid from my DH telling him that they were Christmas gifts. I know, I'm a bad person.
--We have had quite the expensive fall. Our car insurance was due, my sister got married, I got a $300 speeding ticket and we have Christmas shopping to do. I agreed to not visit a craft store or a yarn store for a few months to help us cut back on our expenses.I tried to be happy knitting up my modest stash. I was happy (kinds) until I knit up some beautiful and soft alpaca woo blend yarn. It was so heavenly I just had to have more. When I was in the area of my local yarn shop I went in an bought some. I hid it in the trunk, so my husband would not see it and waited until he went to bed so I could hide it from him. I got busted because I did not have enough cash on me to make the transaction untraceable and my husband is very obsessive about checking our bank account online.
--Last winter I told my daughter that I was going to join "Knit from Your Stash" for 2007. Thus, reducing the huge amount of yarn I have hidden in odd places. She still thinks I do even though I have been secretly buying yarn the whole year.
--Buying yarn and hiding it, both by paying cash so hubby does not see and / or hiding it in the back of the jeep under a blanket till Monday when i have off and hubby is at work before bringing it in the house.
--Buy items (needles and yarn) on line and if hubby is home when they get delivered tell him my mom ordered them for me as a gift ... she is in on this too!
--Another secret, if I need one skein of yarn, I almost always buy $60 worth in order to get my Webs discount. Then I guard the door to intercept the package arrival which is obviously too big for just one skein of yarn.
--I used to buy yarn and hide it in my car, only to sneak it inside if no one was home. I'd stash it under the bed, in the closet...anywhere I thought my husband wouldn't look!
--I sneak yarn *and* needles. I use any method I can to pay: cash at shops, swaps on Ravelry, even Paypal for pretty much anything! My little sister helps me catch all my mail packages before my mom gets home. I've got her sneaking them past my parents' bedroom (where Dad is), and stowing them safely in mine! On the plus side, she likes making me hunt for them, even though my room is only 8x10. And when parents see new yarn, or when they ask me where I got that yarn that I'm dyeing, I respond, "I won it in a blog contest." I have bought over eleven miles of yarn in the past two months. Somehow I've managed to hide it all under my desk!
--I opened a separate bank account that my husband doesn't know about. What is it for? YARN. NEEDLES. I hide my 2nd debit card in my wallet, and when I come home with new yarn, I stuff it in vases, boxes, and the glove compartment of the car. EEEP!

Lying About How Long it Takes to Knit or When they Knit:
--My sister and I once had a race to knit the same sweater, and I would get up in the middle of the night and unravel a few rows on hers. She never caught on, and I won!
--I lie about when I spin/knit. I tell DF he can't come over because I need to study when I'm actually spinning or knitting! I know, bad me... a little white lie never hurt him... Well, now I feel guilty... I think spinning will make me feel better! ;-)
--I lie about how long it takes me to knit stuff. I started knitting because my older sister knits (I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN SHE, YES I CAN) well not really but I like to try. Anyway, my trying ultimately leads lying. I always shave a few days off a project so it seems I knit faster than she does.
--I lie about how long it takes me to finish things. I know, who cares, the knitting community is non-judgemental, right? And yet I still do. Part of it is pride, part of it is trying to cover up for the fact that I'm a super scatterbrain who gets distracted by something after knitting a mere 2 rows. Please forgive me!!!

Opinions or Feelings:
--I never criticize people for their work, but sometimes I see stuff that people make and think to myself "OMG that is the ugliest knitted thing I've ever seen." Sorry =(
--I think that my knit items are usually better than others in my family and close friends who try the same patterns. This is not always true, and many of us NEVER knit the same things. But I passed on my favorite purse pattern and have seen the results from a few other people.............. not as tight, not as sleek and not as well felted! ;)
-- The majority of my friends/acquaintances have no idea that I knit. I just hate the reaction I get from some people when they find out that I love to knit - they get all judgemental and say that they "never pegged me as a crazy cat lady"... why do all knitters have to be old crazy cat ladies? I'm 24! I have no cats! And... well, no.. I won't contest the crazy part.
--I really don't care for the writings of Elizabeth Zimmerman!
--I Admit to being a yarn snob!

Sorry, I only knit for "me, myself, and I":
--I absolutely hate the thought of knitting for anyone else. They don't appreciate anything about the process and therefore don't deserve my time and attention. At least, that's my thought process. My mom, who's a knitter (somewhat) wants a sweater, and I just can't bring myself to even start. I'm a selfish brat that way.
--I rarely knit for others and when I do I never feel motivated to finish like I do when I knit for myself. I'm still working on a simple garter stitch scarf for my boyfriend that I cast on in august. You'd think I'd have finished it by now but no it just sits in my knitting basket because well if it isn't for me I just don't feel the push to finish.
--I hate to knit for others cause they probably don't value the work as much as I do and they don't know how much time it takes to make a gift for them.
-- Even though i do knit for some friends..when i see a project that screams their name...otherwise i feel i am a fairly selfish knitter. And i do knit a lot for others...there are just so many things on my knit list to be knit!
--I'm not inspired to knit for other people.(I usually just knit for myself and my son. No body else appreciates the trouble you go to.)
--If someone doesn't show proper appreciation for a knit gift, they will not receive one again. I need to have some bit of appreciation and preening! Complex or not, I do want to hear how much they lover the ....... I knit them!
--The only people I knit for are me and people who pay me extremely large amounts of money. Gifts? I might give pieces I don't wear or use to other people, but it's mine, all mine, most of the time.
--I don't like to knit for other people (unless they're also knitters). They rarely appreciate or use the gift, and I require much adoration for my hard work.

Recipients get Chunky Knits:
--And I get the thing about people not appreciating how much time goes into a knitted garment, but I admit to exploiting the other side of it too. There are things that I can knit in just a few hours while I watch movies or ride in the car (a stockinette worsted-weight hat, for example). These make excellent gifts because the recipients often over-estimate how much work has gone into them. I don't feel the need to tell them how easy it was.

Knitting to Tick People Off:
--I knit presents for my nieces and nephew to annoy my brother-in-law. I know he'll hate that I didn't spend money on actual store bought toys for his children. I knit things instead, dolls, hats, headbands, scarves. That's all they will get from now on.

Sick of Knitting:
--Just to end on a nice multiple...I'm so sick of knitting right now. I hate it so much because it's all I've been doing lately. I think I'll go on hiatus in January, but I'll probably return.
--I'm pretty sick of knitting too. We all eventually crawl our way back though!

Acrylic Yarn:
--I really like acrylic yarns. They're pretty, they're washable, and they're cheap. I tend to "save" the good yarn for the someday that hasn't come yet, but I can use the acrylic without heartache. It's also available at the only LYS around, Wal-mart.
--Most of the yarn in my stash is acrylic. It's not that I really like it, or that I'm allergic to natural fibers, it's just...there.
--I don't like Acrylic yarn. And I don't know why. I just cant feel good about it. I have store bought sweaters that are %100 acrylic and I love them but I just cant get over this stigma I have against Acrylic yarn. I really would like to be cured of this because then I'd knit more things since the yarn would be cheaper. Oh dear!

Yarn Store Lurkers, or Almost:
--When I absolutely can't buy yarn, I go to the LYS or Michael's or even Wal-Mart and look at yarn. I pick it up, pick out which ones I would buy if I could. I literally spend a half hour + doing this.
--I often go to the yarn store just to touch the yarn, with no intention of buying anything.
--I am very touchy-feely with my yarn. I don't care how much it costs. I'm squeezing the "Charmin" yarn and if it doesn't measure up to the touch test, it stays in the store!

Teachless knitters:
--I don't want to teach anyone else to knit, because it's my thing and I don't want anyone "stealing my thunder".Wow, I'm just a brat all around.
--I know what you mean about not wanting to teach anyone how to knit. I HATE TEACHING PEOPLE TO KNIT! I tried teaching my mom, she just couldn't get it and kept messing up. I got tired of helping her so I just kept saying "just practice," but didn't offer to help her.This girl in my dorm wanted to learn, and she couldn't even cast on. I didn't want to teach her in the first place, so I really didn't even attempt to help her.I also taught my boyfriend to knit, and he caught on VERY fast. He's knitting a scarf and I told him he better not like knitting enough to pursue it because it's MY thing.
--Even if someone begs, I won't teach knitting to anyone....ack.

Mistake? What Mistake?!? That's Supposed to Be there!
--I told my mother in law that the big honking hole in the blanket I knit for my son was NOT a mistake but part of the pattern. I said it was the "Hole in the Wall" pattern. It was there for the dog to breathe while my son and the dog took a nap together. She believed it.

--The only thing I have ever knit for myself is socks.
--I don't like knitting socks. I like looking at sock yarn in the skein, but the finished product isn't worth it to me. Maybe if I lived in a colder environment I'd have a change of heart.
--Another thing...I taught my daughter how to knit socks and told her I'd never knit a pair myself... since that day I am a sock knitting addict
--I have never knit adult socks.

--I don't think I will EVER knit an adult sweater.
-- The only sweater I've ever knit that has fit properly was the first. Everything since then - since I started working gauge and blocking - hasn't.

Fiber Makes for Great Sleeping Buddies:
--Sometimes, I take a particularly squishy skein of yarn to bed with me (like, oh, my Mondial Giada). It's like my knitter's version of a stuffed animal! I promise, I just hold it in my hands to pet as I fall asleep. XD
--I sleep with a 6-foot-long giant knit squid, but I consider that a lifestyle choice rather than a knitting scandal. ;)

--I don't buy a pattern unless a really stuck on something. I didn't know how to read patterns until 3 years ago and well I have been knitting for something like 19 years.
--I've never bought a pattern. Ever. I just guess or use free patterns from the Internet.

Random, but Interesting:
--I design and knit many bags but carry a plain black store bought one myself.
--Learned to knit at first on the looms but did not tell anyone. They thought i was a needle whiz!
--I sometimes am knitting and a person comes up to admire it. In the course of conversation, they mention it's their birthday (or anniversary or something) and I kind of shyly say, "Oh, yeah. You caught me. I'm knitting this scarf (or shawl) for you!
--All the money I should be spending on booze and hookers goes to yarn and art supplies. I'm a horrible excuse for a college student, I guess. I have not yet spent food money on yarn, but I have considered it.
--I knit when I should be doing homework, like writing 4-page papers for English class, or finishing a painting for my art class. Like tonight.
--The doctor tried to forbid me to continue knitting as I have carpal tunnel syndrome. He'd be furious to find out that I am doing pretty well; the pain disappeared the day I went back to knitting. Have to make sure that my hand is warm, isn't it? Wristwarmers are my rescue.
--I catalog my knitting purchases and sales obsessively. I have created a three-page Excel spreadsheet on which I record who I buy or sell yarn/needles from; where they live (remember, I buy and swap on Ravelry); the type and yardage/length of yarn/needle; cost; dates purchased, shipped, and received; etc. I do everything I can to mess with the numbers, for interesting stats. The file name? I hide it as "PChem Lab Tabulations #6", so that it sounds boring enough to never want to see. The worst part? I haven't even *taken* PChem lab yet!
--At night, I often brush my teeth, take my vitamins, and say goodnight. I turn off my light, close my door... and switch on the laptop. What am I doing? I'm browsing Ravelry. UNTIL 3:00 AM. OMG, I'm so addicted.
-- In addition to a knitter and chemist, I am also a photographer. This leads to me being completely unable to post ugly P&S photos of yarn or FOs (just take a peek at my Ravelry stash and projects pages to see what I mean)! I will divert myself from Ravelry on some of those late nights to take secret photos of my stash and projects (and photoshop them to perfection) because everyone thinks I'm weird when they see me photographing yarn!
--I link to KAL's that are WAY over my head or KAL's that are too expensive...even though I don't have any intention of starting/finishing them.


Turtle said...

Congrats monica! Lol, i had to especialy love the sister sweater confession.

Lol, i just cringed when hubby commented this evening on moving his clothes into the guest room closet and letting me have the big closet in the master bedroom. No i cried! He does not realize how much yarn is in knitting books, atc!!

Anonymous said...

Haha . . . sisterly love, I guess. I'm so glad I'm not the only one that hides yarn purchases . . . I was feeling so guilty!

Alyssa said...

I'm so happy there are other people out there that have similar scandals as I do...I dont feel quite as alone.